In every new social setting, be it a party or a class, there is always some form of an introductory statement from the "host" prompting you to tell others a little about yourself.
"So, where are you from?" "Do you like your new job so far?" "What are you drinking? The next one's on me."
But I don't believe these questions tell you anything about who a person truly is. People say that character is who you are when know one is looking... and when getting to know someone, I would much rather get to know someone's character than who they would like the world to perceive them to be via their drink choice. Cause lets be real, we are constantly surrounded by what I like to call "articles of social deception"... AKA Spanx, under-eye concealer and knock-off designer handbags - all things that tell you NOTHING about someone other than the fact that they WANT you to think a certain way about them.
So before a new acquaintance has the opportunity to impress me with the most charming small-talk I've ever heard, I like to ask this simple question...
"If you could have an illegal occupation without the fear of ever being caught, what would you choose?"
You have no idea how many "hit-men" I have gone on first dates with. (*Notice I say "first." I would be insane to say, "Why yes James. Your charm, intelligence and secret desire to kill people for money has left me wanting more!")
And possibly even scarier, for some reason all my friends are split 50/50 between being the leader of a drug cartel or an arsonist. (I know, time for me to find some new friends)
I've thought about this question for myself and have even done a little research at the University of Google to help me find my answer... only to find that #1. Our good friends at Indeed.com have a category for "Illegal jobs" and that #2. if I ever let someone borrow my laptop I'd be screwed because my search history includes words such as "pimp" "pickpocketing" "how to fly an airplane" and "computer hacking."
After much debate, I have come down to two potential careers for myself.
Option A:
Casino Heist-ess (Yes, "heist-ess" is now a word. (noun) - a female who designs, organizes and executes with complete accuracy the multimillion dollar robbery of a major casino in Las Vegas. She also would have a "heist partner" who would more than likely be Ryan Reynolds). My plan is to "take" the casino Batman-style (incognito with no guns... I can't have guns on my conscience).
Option B:
The owner of an underground jazz bar during prohibition. Yes, this would mean I would have to time travel - two birds, one stone. I get to dance and drink the night away during the jazz age AND time travel... what more could I possibly want?
Runners-Up for "Rebecca's Illegal or Socially-Frowned-Upon Occupation" are as follows: train graffiti artist, Captain Jack Sparrow, or full-time palm reader in New Orleans.
So if my exquisite taste in illegal careers has left you hungry for more, here's a little personality snack about me for you to chew on:
For literally as long as I can remember, I have wanted to join the circus - this is not an exaggeration. From a very young age, I've had a complete obsession with Ringling Bros. and Cirque Du Soleil that is only getting worse the older I get. Even though I am in college studying to have a professional career, I also take flying trapeze classes. So if the whole "PR Professional" thing doesn't work out after graduation, I guess you'll be able to find me in the circus.
Here a video clip of my very first partner catch:
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned
that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget
what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never
forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
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